Dump Me?…Yes…Why?…You Too Ambatious

 Their “macho” gene will prohibit most Kenyan men from admitting this, but deep down, the male gender has an instinctive fear of its female counterpart.

From Kate’s Facebook wall yesterday, we share with you her status, it was liked by 6 people

Kate says “I was once dumped n wen i asked him y he left me, he said tht he realised i work too hard n im too ambitious….”

Sample the responses_________________________________________

Dump Me?…Yes…Why?…You Too Ambatious

_________________________________________

Kate Would u imagine that? Some guy please explain this to me

Patrick – You work too hard….so maybe translate to u don’t give him quality time and that the (Censored) has been replaced by your ambitions…..

Kate – Not really… He says that I work too hard and so it makes him scared.. I’m the most (Censored) person

Irene – He feels that you will not be Humble enough to recognize his place in the relationship…him being the man…so he feels like your competing with him…..but in my books, that’s plain rubbish

Milkah – That is obviously a man who is scared of competition n it doesn’t help coming from a woman.

Kate – You know I wasn’t competing. I am naturally like this…. I was raised as an orphan and have had to fend for myself since I was 4 yrs old. He knew all that… but instead of working with me… Gets scared and runs

Timothy – Hehehe.. If a guy truly loves you then he won’t dump u for such an excuse. Dear, he just wasn’t that into you. Where there is love there shouldn’t be fear.

Kate – thanks Tim

Irene – Kate….relax! In my opinion, best he walks away now rather than when you’re legally bound to him….clearly he has no confidence and wants the path of least resistance……

Kate  sadly I’m already bound to him by a child…. but he still left!!!

Irene – it’s ok dear……..been there myself with an 8 yr old. So you’re not alone….trust me there’s life after some of these things…happily dating….

Gianinna – The man is scared of her

Kate – Irene.. Raising my daughter isn’t an issue… I have done it without him for over 1 year. What I resent is him insulting my hard work and making me feel bad about it while dumping me

Sarah – Since he couldn’t keep up or couldn’t take the heat, he decided to jump out of the kitchen … without even trying to up his game, is a bit worrying.

Kate – my point Sarah… he should have tried to keep up

Wanga – The man was sincere, it wasn’t going to last. Wide disparity in ambition…!

Kate – Wanga, so I should have lowered my ambitions?

Irene – he’s a coward, he clearly doesn’t deserve you….him talking badly about your hard work shows you how low he regards himself…now do you really need that?…be proud of your achievements…..you are where you are because of your hard work…..! That’s an A+ if u asks me!

Sarah – ‎@ Wanga, you just don’t give up. You form an alliance with the lady and get ideas from her, which will help you up your game. Giving up is not an option.

Kate – what if the tables were turned and I was satisfied with sitting home n raising his baby while he lives out his ambition

Sarah – Kate, make no apologies for your ambitious nature. Your daughter has a good teacher already. If a man makes you feel bad about your achievements/ambitions, then he has no business being your partner.

Wanga  – Am not conspiring with anyone…

Kate – I was worried for a minute there Wanga  ‎@ Sarah, didn’t understand you, alliance with which lady?

Kate – I believe she means, if u have an ambitious lady, instead of chickening out, you should form an alliance and grow pamoja

Wanga – I agree.

Conso Jm – Kate, he was just not into you. Sarah, I 110% concur with you. My take is that a man who wants to leave will leave, bound by a child or not. I feel you have worked hard to be where you r today; something you should be proud of (kudos) and u shouldn’t be let down by mean excuses coming from this man. You deserve better; a man who appreciates your efforts.

Kate – thanks Conso… I’m much better away

Kate  –  i refuse to feel guilty for working hard

Clifford – Interesting. First, he definitely suffers low self esteem and you cannot do anything about it. Secondly, what are we not being told by Kate? That is, what guarantee does Kate have that this will not happen in the next relationship? What can she do about herself to stop this happening again?

Kate – I won’t change.. That’s given!!! I know there are men who can handle my hard work! So I don’t have to change!!!

Rehema – Ah? I concur this doesn’t sound like an ‘ambition’ issue… that guy? Wasn’t into you…

Kate – then he should have been man enough to say it!

Clifford  – Kate, you do not have to change but many a time we have to adjust our programmes to fit others. I am a writer and before I married, I used to hit like 4 to 6 hours of writing in an evening (late evenings, late nights). I married, the kids …came, homework checking came, etc. My writing time has gone down by 90%. I haven’t changed, but I have accommodated the family into my programme. Once in a while I take off for a week or so and write madly. Then am sawa.

Kate – his problem wasn’t my timings… in fact I have a very good schedule. I only work 8 – 5. It’s just that when I’m working I work really hard and I dream big! It shows and that’s what he is scared of

Conso Jm  – Clifford, are you implying that she should do something about her hard work & ambition to please a man? She needs to do nothing, let her be who she is. If that man can’t accept her for who she is, some day another man will.

Wanga – Kate, I think right now just focus on your ambition and child. A man may come along later. If he does he will fit into your plans and you can both flow together in same direction. In the meantime make no apologies for your ambition. Communication is also important. Your ambitions may not have varied much but he may have misunderstood you to be putting him down. This is from a man.

Kate – I swear he was my partner. Neva put him down. Anyway, it’s irrelevant now! No longer a part of my life. Just want my daughter and I to be happy

Clifford – Conso Jm, no one is asking her to lower her standards. Just saying that she needs not fix her life and fulcrum on a man who doesn’t share the same vision. However, I would love to hear the guy’s version of the same story. I am sure it will fill pages.

Nelly – Sometimes when someone leaves our lives, we focus on the hurt of their leaving whereas they have done their part in our lives. They impacted lessons either sub consciously or consciously. Their leaving is a favor to you as it clears the room for the right person. As long as you live don’t change who you are for someone else because it won’t last and that’s a recipe for unhappiness. Work hard to provide the best for your child, your 1st priority.

Wanga – Kate, notice I said he….’ misunderstood’. Not that you put him down! You did nothing wrong. In fact expressing your ambition boldly was the right thing to do.

Kate – – Thanks everybody! I don’t know if he would give his side coz I don’t think he wants to

End of Discussion

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2 Responses

  1. Compromise or adjusting one’s programmes for a partner is something that can happen both ways and when necessary and note I do not mean giving up your ambition or career or your life. If a man cannot from the beginning understand that a hardworking and ambitious woman has not done anything wrong, them he has issues. If he does not look into how to support his hardworking and ambitious partner, he may not be having the right mindset or ready to be her man. Many men expect this support from their partners as they see this as the norm but when the role is reversed many men are not ready for the long haul. Mindsets really have to change…

  2. […] Dump Me?…Yes…Why?…You Too Ambatious | Women eNews Kenya Dump Me …Yes…Why?…You Too Ambatious. Their “macho” gene will prohibit most Kenyan men from admitting this, but deep down, the male gender has an instinctive fear of its female counterpart. From Kate's Facebook wall yesterday, […]

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